Surviving Homeschooling and WFH During Quarantine #MyNewNormal
I can’t sleep!!! As I type this it’s 1:45a on Sunday, I mean now Monday, 4/13/20. I’m going to regret this tomorrow morning. I know I am!
It’s because I have a dose of inspiration, call it a download to get this out of my head and onto paper or screen.
This is going to be a long one, but in my opinion, it should be. You’re here because you need resources so I’m going to give it to you raw and real plus somebody needs to read this, not sure who this is for, but here goes…
I read a lot of tips on how to WFH, even joined a Facebook group, but what I couldn’t find was anything helpful on how to WFH and homeschool multiple kids forcefully since yeah there were homeschooling tips out there from mothers that chose to homeschool and work from home, but that wasn't my story.
It wasn't my reality so the tips I read about how they dealt on the daily just didn’t resonate with me with the exception of having grace with yourself. I couldn’t find anything that I could relate to so I had no choice but to swing it and tweak things until they worked for me.
So here goes…
I think we’re on week 3 of #quarantine/homeschool/WFH and this shit is HARD!!!
The first two weeks were whatever word strikes a bigger cord than HARD, since lately my brain isn’t really working including my vocabulary, that’s what it was like for me.
I had multiple breakdowns, MULTIPLE. Not only did I have a breakdown during my session with my therapist, but I hijacked Leah’s therapy session and turned it into a full blown crying/therapy session/breakdown for me! Not kidding at all! I even had to escape and sit in the car just to cope with it all or try to.
I found that I was killing myself trying to do it all. I mean ALL.
Let me give you some insight, I have 4 kids, 3 still live at home, Elijah who’s 15, Landon who’s 10 and Leah who’s 7. So overnight I became a 9th grade, 5th grade and 2nd grade teacher on top of everything else I have going on. It was traumatic. Still is traumatic. I don’t like change let alone abrupt change so this new normal was not cool. I’m still not cool with it and let me tell you why.
It’s too damn much!
I have no training in teaching, no teaching degree, no teaching certification, no online degree, plus I’m not the most patient person in the world so this homeschooling shit, I’ll just say is for the birds. Why do people choose to homeschool, I have no clue! As much as I dislike it, I had to find my rhythm. I had to or I risked the possibility of the kids getting left back. That’s how real shit got.
I finally found my rhythm…
I stopped trying to do it all.
I threw on some makeup and let my hair down and for the first time in weeks, I felt sane.
But first let’s talk about how I got there…
At first, I tried to schedule the day out in my Google calendar, which is color coded by the way. Has been that way for years. I’m a visual person so color coding really helps me under usual circumstances especially since at a glance, I can see what my day looks like just by seeing the colors on my calendar for the day.
Blue is the color for the kids, yellow for my biz, red for bills, purple for appointments and so on, but with this new routine, I was finding that I couldn’t even look at my calendar because it was flooded with nothing but blue plus I set up 5 and 15 minute reminders to dique stay on track. This was giving me the only anxiety! Like I was about to throw my phone at the wall type of anxiety! That ended after the first week. I guess also with the craziness, my body somehow picked up on the wake up times for the kids so I no longer felt like I needed to have it in my calendar. I was functioning on autopilot aka survival mode, which I’m not sure is such a good thing (note to self to ask my therapist, Ashley about that).
With this old scheduling system, our day used to look like me getting up at 7-7:15a to do my morning routine: shower, journal, stretch, cook breakfast (like a real breakfast not milk and cereal), check email, social media and try to squeeze in work if I could. Then by 8:30a, wake up Landon since “school” for him starts at about 8:45a. By 8:50a wake up Elijah and by 9:30a, wake up Leah.
Once Landon finishes eating, I set him up for Google classroom to answer his morning question (this is how they take attendance). Then he hops on Zoom for his 9a morning meeting. Not sure why it’s called that, but it is. That lasts until about 10a. During his meeting, I make sure Leah eats her breakfast and hops on her class platform to complete her morning question and start tackling her math and reading assignments. In between this, Landon is finishing his morning meeting and we start tackling his never ending daily assignment list.
Not for nothing this kid has a shit load of assignments to do every damn day! I want to pull my hair out just looking at the list.
In between all of this, I’m checking on Elijah to make sure that he’s not only attending his virtual class sessions, but that he doesn’t forget to participate in the chat since that’s how his teachers take attendance. His school uses some sort of automated system that makes sure to text me around 3p to let me know he’s being marked absent for not participating in class - without fail. Damn technology!
Now to the fun part where I’m going back and forth between helping Leah and Landon with their assignments while making lunch and trying to get my work done. You see how this shit is too much? There were days that Landon was doing schoolwork until 7 - 8p at night!
It didn’t take me until last week to be like, scratch this shit, we are doing what we can and what doesn’t get done, won’t get done.
Were assignments done half assed?
Yes, because during week 1 and 2, I was driving myself crazy trying to get them to complete their assignments perfectly. What the fuck was I thinking? I have this thing that I’m trying to work on where everything I do has to be perfect and so I was putting that burden on them.
Not cool.
I remember at the end of week one, which was beyond terrible, I held a morning meeting with the kids where I apologized to them for my behavior because let’s face it, I was a mean teacher. I mean if I worked for the Board of Ed, I’m sure I would’ve gotten fired.
Remember when I said that I had no teacher training? I wasn’t kidding.
I pivoted…
So by week three after all the torture that we all endured, I scratched the whole shit and started over. Why I waited until week 3 I thought I didn’t have a clue, but then I unpacked it with my therapist. I can at times, have a hard time communicating my wants/needs. I tend to wait until shit hits the fan, I have a breakdown and then eventually pivot instead of speaking up from the jump when things aren’t serving me. I’m working on my throat chakra, let's just say. #awareness
Back to the morning meeting.
I told the little ones since their work was hardest to tackle that moving on we would do the best we could. I told Landon, that I expected him to read his assignments thoroughly and answer the questions as best he could, but that he had to review his work before showing it to me. He needed to make sure the work was correct, not me since what I was doing before wasn’t working. I was taking on too much. I was walking him through the assignments, checking it and walking him through on correcting it when I didn’t have to. He was more than able to do this on his own so now, he completes the assignment and when he gives it to me to submit, I ask him if he’s reviewed it to make sure he fully answered all the questions in the assignment. This has been a life saver! So no, I don’t check his work. Landon is one of the brightest students in his class, so he knows what he has to do. I shouldn’t have to micromanage him. Now of course if he doesn’t understand something after trying to figure it out on his own, I message the teacher for help. This has worked like a charm.
I grabbed this screenshot of a video I posted on my IG stories…I almost tried to edit it by trying to screenshoot a better pic..one that wasn’t blurry, but stopped my perfectionist self and just posted the first shot. I’m growing!
Yes, there’ve been moments of shame if I’m being honest
I almost didn’t include this next piece here out of shame to be honest, but again, I really feel like someone needs to read this plus it allows me to face my shit.... Remember the perfectionism side of me that I've been trying to put to bed, well here goes:
Now with Leah, she starts her assignments at 10a which consists of reading, writing and math. She also has a Zoom reading meeting everyday at 1p. With her it's been hard in the sense that she isn’t confident with her work. She knows the work, but doubts herself a lot, which for me is so frustrating. So a simple assignment that should take 15 minutes, takes an hour.
Just think, 4 + 4 = 8 right, but no since she answers 6 and I look at her like really?! Are you for real?! I get frustrated and start yelling, which of course doesn’t help her, but I’m just frustrated at this whole situation and take it out on her. Then I feel like shit for yelling. She’s crying and I go somewhere and cry...again! Not a cute cycle at all.
So now, I’m working on my patience EVERYDAY and keep reminding myself that they are also adjusting to this new normal so cut them and myself some slack and I do lots and lots and lots of deep breathing. Things have gotten way better since. Plus I've noticed that when I leave her alone with her math, it still takes her what feels like forever to get it done, but she eventually gets it done. I basically throw a damn parade and it also helps to build up her confidence. WIN!
Surviving Homeschooling and WFH During Quarantine: 20+ Tips that have really helped…
Take breaks in between assignments. This has been a huge help! Helps them focus better plus it gives me a break too.
I charge ALL the gadgets the night before so that we’re not scrambling the next day with charging while working since the kids move around the house. I try to keep them comfortable, but noticed that they have to remain SEPARATED so they don’t fight or distract each other.
I wake up at 8a - 8:15a now, which has really helped with my energy levels. Waking up at this time gives me enough time to do my morning routine, cook breakfast and get the kids up for “school” and all set up for class. I then shower while they eat breakfast. I’m still tired as fuck throughout the day that by 5 - 6p, my ass is usually knocked out or down for a nap at least. This is the time Robert takes over, whether he likes it or not since he’s now working from home too. We swap cooking dinner now too or skip it all together sometimes and just have cereal or a sandwich or take out.
I text Robert at about 8:50a so that he can wake up Elijah for “school”. Delegate and done! This way I can focus on the little ones.
I also don’t cook a full blown breakfast everyday. Some days the kids have cereal, which they make themselves because they are willing and able to and I need a break some days too.
Cut off school time by 2:40p which is their dismissal time when they were physically in school. We close down all the school apps and they get to be normal kids again. I realized how before this all the experts were saying how bad too much screen time was for kids nowadays. How it should be limited to about 2 hours a day, but with this new normal, here we are forcing kids to be in front of a screen for 8 hours a day. That shit is crazy!
We only complete the main subjects meaning Reading, Math, and Writing. That’s it! So no art, gym, virtual field trips, science projects. We are having none of that shit! We can barely keep up with the main subjects, adding these on would be impossible to accomplish.
I turned off all notifications for all school apps, which has calmed my anxiety big time! This is usual for me for all apps, but I added school apps to the list.
Created a checklist for Elijah to help him to remember to participate in the chat for his classes. Let’s just say that when 3p came, my phone was blowing up with alerts that he was being marked absent. This has helped since nowadays I barely get alerts come 3p.
The only appointments that I kept on the calendar are Leah’s daily Zoom read out louds at 1p, her weekly one on one meeting with her teacher, her weekly therapy session, Landon’t weekly one on one meeting with his teacher, and Elijah’s Math tutoring that happens on Tue/Wed at 1:30p including reminders and this is only because I kept forgetting about them so they’ll stay on there until I can train my brain to remember about them all on its own.
I observe the kids. If I see that they are struggling, I shut the whole thing down and give them an off day or what back in my day we used to call “cutting school”. Yes they cut school. They chill and I chill. We all come out better because of it.
Created a list of all the kids’ passwords in Evernote for all the platforms each one uses to complete their assignments. Between all the kids, they use Google classroom, Class Dojo, Zearn, Prodigy and Zoom. Game changer! Before this, I was scrambling trying to find this user name and password for this one and for that one and I was going crazy. Like your girl was about to run down the street but ass naked screaming in tongue type crazy. Not cool! Now everything is in one place plus with Evernote, I’m able to access this info from all devices. So if one of the kids is using my phone, I can still access this info from Elijah’s ipad or another device. I’m also able to text Robert if I need him to log one of the kids onto an app for an assignment. Thank you Evernote!
For Landon, we only tackle assignments that are due on the present day. His damn teachers tend to post assignments in advance, which I can’t stand so I’m able to filter them and only focus on things due today. Again, if all assignments don’t get done on that day, they don’t get done. I don’t carry them to the next day. His teachers haven’t complained and if they do, I’ll explain to them why I chose to do what I chose to do. I’m sure they’ll understand since this is an adjustment for everyone.
Use a bin that I bought from the Dollar Tree awhile back to store their writing books, white board, pencils, erasers, laptops and chargers for the gadgets. That way they’re not scrambling to find supplies throughout the house. Everything is in one spot.
Training myself to work with a little clutter. Look, we are all in the house. Working from the dining table, living room, etc. It will get messy. Having everything all tidy, clean and organized would be nice, but in our house it just isn’t realistic during work time. We have to spread out to work so we make it work. Once the day is up, everything gets cleaned up and put away or at least most of it.
Robert makes lunch now since he saw the toll it was taking on me. I also learned that I have to let him know when I’m overwhelmed. I’m working on retiring my Superwoman cape and opening up my throat chakra. I’m a work in progress.
For myself, I’ve started using my planner again, which I stopped doing when this all went down. This has helped me to get back into the swing of things with my biz, which I had on pause during this time. I couldn’t juggle it all mentally and physically especially since Elijah uses my laptop for his classwork.
I’m a planner addict. Ask my girl Rita Vee. I’m always trying out new planners and she helps to fuel my addiction by sending me links to new planners she discovers when scrolling through Instagram lol!. Currently I’m using a weekly planner from Rainbow Vision. I’ve found that weekly planners work best for me since I’m able to list out what needs to get done for the week without giving myself the pressure of a daily schedule and daily to dos. With the kids, a daily schedule just doesn’t work for me since things can change at the drop of a hat along with my daily schedule. Of course, I’m aware of appointments, but as long as I can get things done by the end of the week, it's a win for me. Crossing off at least 3 major things off the weekly list is the goal. Whatever doesn’t get crossed off, gets moved over to next week’s TO DO list if still deemed important.
I’m learning to really listen to my body and pay attention to my energy levels. I’m one that drains easily. I can go hard, but when too much is on my plate, I burn out and become super cranky so I observe. One of the signaling factors that I use to gauge how my energy is going are my shoulders. Once I feel them tense up, I know it’s time to throw in the towel for the day. I’m more aware now and pay attention and pivot. I don’t always get it right, but I’m working on it.
I’m working on limiting the time I spend on my phone so that I can be more present with the kids. I must say that my phone time has increased so much during quarantine and that’s because it’s all I have since my laptop basically has a new owner and his name is Elijah. This is a work in progress for me. I’m human.
I tackle my biz work at night, but before I do, I check in with myself on how I feel energy wise. So there are nights that I don’t open up my laptop and learned to not feel guilty about it. As long as most of the items on the weekly to do list get done...the major ones, I’m good.
I really had to sit with myself and decide on what I was going to focus on when it came to my biz considering all that has happened. Now that I’ve figured that out, I have a plan and I’m tackling it while remembering that what can get done will get done and what doesn’t get done, gets moved over to next week because again I’m human.
As we move into I think week 4 of this, I think it’s week 4 since I’ve truly lost track of time, I’m reminding myself to be patient, compassionate and not be so rigid aka give myself grace because I need it, I deserve it. This shit is HARD in case you didn’t get that part. So why make it any harder?
Oh and in case this is helpful to you just as it was to me, here’s the quote that changed it all for me. Elijah’s school sent it to us as part of their weekly email and I almost cried when I read it. I also shared it on my IG story and again no edited pic here.
